


Overs & Unders

by Rinkafic



Series: Overs and Unders [1]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - BDSM, M/M, Stargate Atlantis AU, broken!john
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-21
Updated: 2012-08-21
Packaged: 2017-11-12 15:08:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/492551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rinkafic/pseuds/Rinkafic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Major Lorne hadn't ever planned to take a partner, until Kate Heightmeyer brought an under in need of special handling to his attention.</p><p>*This is the first 3 stories in the verse: O is for Obedience, U is for Under and P is for Punishment and Patterns and Patience.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Overs & Unders

**Author's Note:**

> Mention of past physical, emotional and sexual abuse. 
> 
> (You will likely want to join the line of people wanting me to beat Maybourne)

“Major Lorne, do you have a few minutes?”

Evan looked up from the report he was reading to see the staff psychiatrist, Kate Heightmeyer standing at his door. “Sure, Doc, what’s up?” He closed the cover of the laptop and folded his hands. When she turned up at his door, it was usually serious, so he dreaded whatever it was she was going to tell him. Probably another disciplinary matter that she wanted rescinded for one of her patients.

She closed the door behind her and sat down, her look serious, though her manner was more nervous than usual. “You’re a registered over.” He nodded at the statement, it wasn’t a secret. He just didn’t have an under, he had never seen the need to take one and it was difficult finding a good match under the best of circumstances. Pegasus was not the best of circumstances, by any stretch of the imagination.

The doctor cleared her throat and tapped her fingers nervously on her tablet as it rested on her knee. “A situation has come up. Several people have recommended I speak to you, citing your temperament in difficult circumstances.”

This was different. He leaned forward, wondering what she was so on edge about. “Is that so? What kind of situation?”

Kate put the tablet on the desk and slid it to him. He looked down to see a medical report on the screen, scrolling through, he saw pictures of a severely beaten man, a stranger, bruised and bloody in each picture. They appeared to be hospital pictures, he could see medical equipment in the background. He scanned the report quickly, seeing the words, “battery” and “signs of chronic abuse.”

Disturbed by the gruesome images, he looked up at Kate. “How did my name come to be attached to this case, Doc?”

“His name is John Sheppard. He’s currently under the care of a colleague of mine, Doctor McKenzie at the SGC. His case came to the attention of the SGC this last time he ended up in the ER and was flagged in the registry system as a suspected abuse case. Sheppard was a F-302 pilot before he resigned his commision suddenly three years ago, refusing to give any reasons. Prior to his resignation, he was on the roster for this mission. He’s ATA positive.”

It surprised Evan that the SGC had let the guy get away, ATA positives were in short supply, most could write their own ticket to get whatever assignment they preferred, just so that the SGC could keep them on hand. “Who beat on him?”

“His over, though figuring that out was not easy. Colonel Maybourne did a very good job of hiding his connections to Sheppard, he had been keeping him locked up and off the grid for three years.”

“Maybourne? I know that name. Didn’t SG-1 have some trouble with him?”

“They did. This is classified information I’m telling you, as part of the agreement for Maybourne to give John up, the Colonel’s name is to be left out of it, no charges have been filed. But he won’t ever be able to register another under, he’s been flagged in the registry system as a potential hazard.”

“Was Maybourne his CO?”

“No. We’re not sure how Sheppard came to be with him. It was unregistered, undocumented, and John isn’t talking. He isn’t talking at all, that’s part of the problem. He’s gone completely non-verbal. We’re unsure how long he’s been like this.”

What had Maybourne been doing to him? Evan felt a surge of anger towards the Colonel. He’d had the responsibility of an under and had clearly abused his position as an over. “Why me?” Evan quickly assumed why she was here and what she was asking without asking. She couldn’t outright ask, it wasn’t done. But she could hint.

She smiled lightly and sighed with relief as she realized he was a step ahead of her and understood the conversation that they were not having. “You’re known for your patience, you don’t have an under so there will be no drama or jealousy to contend with. And you’re out here in Pegasus. The team working with John feels that a complete break from his environment might help his recovery. It’s been reported that ATA positives here in the city feel a connection with the city and are very comfortable here. He needs a strong support and a comfortable base so that he can start over.”

He leaned back in his chair and ran a hand over his face. This was a lot. Taking a healthy under would be a big step and a major adjustment to his way of life. Taking one that was so obviously damaged and in need of special handling? But who else could do it here? Evan ran through the list of unattached overs on base, it was a short list, most people were partnered up. The doctor was correct, Sheppard would need someone that could give him their full attention, he couldn’t be the second or third under for someone. McKay wouldn’t have the patience or time. Doctor Weir had sworn off ever taking another under after her last partner died. The marines that came to mind were all too rough. Evan had not been looking to take a partner, but it looked like fate had intervened.

“I should meet him to see if he’s willing. I won’t force anyone into it, that’s just asking for trouble.”

“I agree wholeheartedly. I suspect Maybourne forced John into their association and was behind his resignation. He’ll be here in two days, on the _Daedalus._ ”

“Confident in my answer, were you?”

She shook her head. “No, not at all, actually. I’ve been reviewing personnel files, interviewing potential overs and weighing all the options. There isn’t any other over on base that I would feel comfortable approaching with this. If you had been reluctant I would have treated Sheppard as best I could without involving an over. It would not have been optimal, but it would still have been better than the treatment he was getting on Earth,just because he’d be here in the city.”

When his duty shift was over that day, Evan went home and cleared space for Sheppard to put his things, in case Sheppard agreed to the whole plan. He wasn’t certain that the man would be on board, after getting out of an unsanctioned, abusive relationship. He could be the worst under ever, completely disobedient and disrespectful and incapable of maintaining a healthy relationship. He called the quartermaster and requested one of the double beds be moved into his quarters, glad of the excuse to be rid of the tiny single he’d been using.

  
~*~

  


 

In an attempt not to appear overeager, Lorne did not meet the _Daedalus_ when she landed on the South Pier. He waited for Doctor Heightmeyer to meet her new patient and talk with him. He was uncertain if she was going to propose her plan to Sheppard or not. 

“Major Lorne, do you have time to come down to my office?” Doctor Heightmeyer asked over the radio. 

“I cleared the whole afternoon, I’m just doing busywork,” he replied. “I’ll be there in five minutes.”

Sheppard was sitting on the chair in front of Heightmeyer’s desk, his back ramrod straight, his gaze fixed straight ahead on a point on the wall over her shoulder. There was a definite look of relief on her face when she saw Evan at the door. 

“Major Lorne, this is John Sheppard,” she introduced. 

Evan walked in, but Sheppard remained sitting exactly as he was, not acknowledging him, not moving, not looking away from that fixed point on the wall. He was puzzled for a moment and then he realized what must have happened. He looked at the doctor. “Did you tell him to sit down?”

She tilted her head in puzzlement. “Well, yes, when we came in.” She was a neutral, most people in the medical profession were. She probably didn’t realize what she had done. If she was going to work with John in the future, she needed a crash course in dealing with an under. 

“Okay, lesson one. He’s been conditioned to respond to commands. You are a person of authority here. You will need to watch your phrasing when you tell him to do things.” Evan told her gently. Then he walked over to stand in front of John. “John, you can relax. You don’t need to sit if you don’t want to, you can stand or walk around or lie on the couch. Whatever you are comfortable with.”

Sheppard’s posture loosened slightly and he looked around the office and then up at Evan. He stared at him for a moment and then gave a brief nod. Evan sat on the edge of the desk and looked John over. His hair was long, just past his shoulders, all one length. His ears were pierced though he wore no jewelry, and that made Evan look down at his fingernails. Long, specks of red nail polish on them. The three things were evidence to Evan that Maybourne had been dressing him. That wasn’t Evan’s thing, though he knew others liked it. 

The bruises were gone, though he had a few pink lines where the cuts were still healing on his cheek and above his eyes. 

Heightmeyer said they hadn’t been able to get anything out of Sheppard at the hospital or SGC infirmary. He still wanted to try. Sheppard was obviously conditioned, he might respond to direct commands. “I’m going to ask you a few questions. Answer them, please. Maybourne forced you to be his under, didn’t he?” 

After a moment’s hesitation, Sheppard nodded and then stared at the floor. 

“He’s beaten you before?”

Another nod, without looking up.

He looked down at Sheppard’s wrists, and saw lines of thin white scars, evenly spaced. He’d been shackled and had struggled against the restraints, Evan was sure of it. “You were kept against your will?”

Nod.

“Did you want to resign your commission?”

John shook his head ‘no’ and then looked up at Evan. His eyes were very sad. 

“Did he order you not to talk?”

Sheppard nodded. Pieces of the puzzle were falling into place for Evan. He had disliked Maybourne when he walked into the room, now he was beginning to hate the man.

“Okay, an easier question. Do you feel the tingle here?” Evan waved a hand near the back of his head. 

With a puzzled look, Sheppard put a hand to the back of his neck and then nodded. 

“That’s the city. Don’t fight it, work with it. It will let you interface on a low level and work some of the systems mentally. Doors, windows and overhead screens can all be operated mentally if you have the gene, which I’m told you do.” The door to Heightmeyer’s office opened and closed, and Sheppard smirked. “Just like that,” Evan said with a grin. 

Evan dropped his hands to his knees and looked into Sheppard’s eyes. Hazel, he noted, his artist’s eye picking out the various flecks of color there out of habit. Sheppard didn’t look away, didn’t hide. He sensed sadness, what he thought was likely pain, but Sheppard didn’t seem broken to him. That had been his biggest fear, that he would be taking on a broken under, one incapable of committing fully to the relationship. 

“I don’t have an under. I’ve never registered with anyone. I can promise you I am not Maybourne. I want a partner, not a slave. I expect obedience, but I’m not demanding and I don’t punish unless I’m pushed to the wall. I’m offering for you, John, if you want it. You’d be safe here with me.”

With a glance over at Heightmeyer, John tapped his fingers on his knee and stared at Evan. He raised his fingers to his throat and brushed them there, a question coming into his eyes. 

“A collar? If you want one.” John shook his head vehemently. He mimed talking with his fingers as he moved his mouth. 

“I want you to talk again. When you’re ready.”

With a huff and an irritated wave of his hand, Sheppard sat back in the chair. Talking was apparently an issue. He fingered his hair and held up the ends, looking at the hank of hair in his hand with disgust. He waved it at Evan.

“You can go straight to the barber when we’re done here and get that hacked, however you want it. I’m not demanding about many things. I want a companion and a partner. I don’t want an unwilling captive in my bed.”

There was relief on Sheppard’s face as he reached for Evan’s hand and took it, giving it a squeeze.

“Yes?”

Sheppard nodded. 

“Say yes,” Lorne ordered sternly, to see what the effect would be if he countermanded Maybourne’s order now.

“Yes,” John said immediately, and behind him, Kate Heightmeyer’s eyebrows shot up to her hairline.

  


~*~  


Dropping his duffel bag, John looked around the room that Major Lorne had brought him to. It was painted in the same bluish-green shade as most of the corridors they had walked through. He crossed the room, passing a white sofa and curvy table in front of it to get to the balcony doors. He pressed his nose to the glass.

 

“You can go out, if you like,” Lorne said from behind him. He was the oddest over John had ever met. So far, he didn’t bark commands, and he hadn’t demanded anything of John. He wasn’t certain how he felt about that. He was used to following orders, doing as he was told. He supposed that there was comfort in that, it made him feel secure, knowing exactly what he was supposed to do.

John turned to Lorne. “Do you want me to?” His voice sounded horribly scratchy after not talking for so long, not like his voice at all.

Pausing at a door that must lead to a bedroom or bathroom, Major Lorne tilted his head and looked at John as if he didn’t understand the question. He sighed and leaned on the doorframe and crossed his arms, looking back at John thoughtfully. “You still need commands, don’t you?”

He looked out at the balcony and then to Major Lorne again. He wanted to go out there and smell the ocean, but something bothered him about opening the door and walking out, it made his stomach hurt. “I think I do,” he said finally after thinking about it.

“If you need it, then we’ll work that way. I want you to be comfortable John. Don’t be afraid to...” Major Lorne paused and held up a hand and rephrased what he was saying, adding a tone of command to his voice. “If something bothers you, tell me.”

John nodded, filing the order away. It was clear that Major Lorne and Doctor Heightmeyer were really trying to help him. He wanted to do his best to do what they wanted. He felt good when his over was pleased.

“Go out and enjoy the view,” Lorne told him, waving towards the balcony.

Happily, John opened the door and ran over to the railing, leaning over and inhaling deeply. The water spread out from the alien city in all directions as far as he could see. He had missed the scent of salt water, and surfing. One of his overs in college had taught him to surf and he had loved it. He looked over his shoulder when he heard a noise behind him. “Isn’t there any land, Major Lorne?” he asked. Was that his voice? It sounded so odd to his ears. He had hated that command to not speak. He had hated a lot of things about Colonel Maybourne, he had been the worst over John had ever met.

“Call me Evan, John. There’s a continent to the east, you can’t see it from this side of the city.” Lorne was leaning on the doorframe, watching him. When John yawned, he waved over his shoulder. “Come inside, you must be worn out from the trip here. Go to bed.”

He nodded and left the railing, looking out to the ocean one last time. It was nice here. It smelled good and the weird buzziness in his head tickled him in a good way. And Major Lorne... Evan seemed okay so far. He went inside to the bedroom that Evan led him to. He stood near the bed and undid his belt. Then he looked at Evan.

“The bathroom is that way,” Evan said, pointing.

“May I use it?”

John could tell the question surprised Evan. He looked a little angry as he asked, “Maybourne didn’t let you use the bathroom?”

“Not always.” John had gotten very good at holding it.

“I swear to God...” Evan said, throwing his hands up. “You are to use the bathroom whenever you need to.”

No schedule? No permission? He had that uneasy feeling in his stomach. John walked to the door and went into the very large bathroom. There was a shower ‘room’ that took up half of the chamber with multiple jets from three walls.

Evan came up behind him as he stood in the doorway. “I picked these quarters for the balcony and the shower. Cool, huh?”

It looked really good to John. “Good water pressure?” John asked as he wandered in and looked around. He hoped he wasn’t annoying his new over with all the questions. The toilet was a little oddly shaped, but he could see how it worked easily enough.

“Pretty good. I’ll give you some privacy.” Evan walked out, leaving John alone. He hurried through what he needed to do and ran back out to the bedroom. The knot in his stomach subsided.

Evan was sitting in a chair, reading from a tablet. John stood beside the bed, looking from it to Evan and back. He’d been told to go to bed, but he had not been told to undress. Did Evan want him naked and ready for sex? What did going to bed here with Evan entail? He didn’t know and he felt stupid.

“John?” Evan called.

“I’m confused.”

“Lie down and sleep,” Evan said patiently when he looked up from the tablet.

Evan obviously didn’t understand why he was confused. “Do you want me prepared for sex?”

“Oh. No. Not tonight. I want you to sleep. Wear what you’re comfortable sleeping in...” John shifted from foot to foot at the vague direction and Evan amended, “Strip to your shorts.”

Relieved at the clarification, John kicked off his sneakers, took off his flannel shirt and shucked his jeans, folding everything and setting the clothing on the edge of the dresser. He tugged his t-shirt over his head and was folding it when he heard Evan say, “Wait. Come here.”

He walked over and turned around when Evan spun his finger in a circle. His over stood up and John felt a tentative touch on his back. “What could you have possibly done to deserve this?” Evan asked.

“I wasn’t fast enough. Didn’t clean something well enough. Wasn’t ready when I was supposed to be...” He started to list the reasons he remembered for each whipping.  There hadn't always been a reason. Not with Maybourne, not with Todd, not with some of the others.

Evan’s fingers stroked over the scars on his back then he grasped John’s shoulder and turned him around. “This is not right,” Evan whispered. “I would never do something like this.  I won’t punish you, John.”

He blinked. He had always been punished, even before Maybourne with his admittedly extreme disciplines. There was always something that he had done wrong. If he were not punished, how would he know when he was doing something wrong?

The pain in his stomach was back. It was hard to breathe. He clutched his middle and panted in short quick breaths. Uncertain what to do, he turned in a circle and then back again, slightly bent over as his stomach clenched painfully.

“John? What’s wrong? Talk to me.”

“Can’t breathe. Hurts,” he whispered frantically as Evan grabbed his arms.

Evan held him still and looked into John’s face, speaking sternly. ”You’re panicking on me. Easy, calm down. Everything is fine, you’re safe. Breath slowly or you’ll hyperventilate.” 

John tried to obey, taking slower breaths. Having his over holding him tightly, restricting his movements was helping him to center and focus. “Okay, better, that’s better.”

His head hurt now. And he felt like he was going to throw up. He wanted to curl up in the closet, in the dark, he wondered if Evan would give him permission to do that. It had been a punishment from Maybourne, but John had grown to like it, it soothed him. Evan pushed his long hair out of his face. They had made an appointment for the barber the next morning to get it cut. “Do you need the punishments?”

“How will I know if I’m wrong?”

Evan sighed and rolled his eyes. “Why don’t we come at it from you knowing when you’ve done right instead?” He stared at his new over. Done right? It was not what John was used to. But did that make it wrong? The doctors at the SGC had tried to convince him that Colonel Maybourne had been behaving illegally, and had not treated John properly.

“I think you’ve been punished enough, how about some positive stuff for a while? If it doesn’t work, I’ll take you over my knee and spank you. I promise, we’ll find a way to do this that is good for both of us, John.”

He nodded, willing to try things Evan’s way. It would obviously please his new over. “Okay.”

Evan clasped his cheeks and pulled his face down. He was a few inches shorter than John, which John only realized at that moment. He kissed John’s forehead. “You’re doing everything right, John. I’m very happy so far, this is going very well. Now, go over there and get into bed and rest.”

John went to the bed and pulled down the covers and climbed in. He was asleep before he’d fully settled his head on the pillow.

  


~*~

When John began to snore lightly, Evan went into the bathroom and sank down against the wall. “Shit. Shit, shit, shit!” he swore quietly, punching a fist into his hand. How could he do this? His new under was more deeply broken than Evan had thought.

He tapped his radio, he had promised to check in with Kate before bed. “Lorne to Heightmeyer.”

“Major, hello.”

His voice trembled slightly.  “Switch to the channel we discussed using, please.” Evan wanted this conversation to be private.  

“You sound shaky,” she said when the channel was changed.  She'd noticed.

He held his head in his hands. “He had a panic attack. I thought I was going to have to take him to the infirmary.” This was her area of expertise and Evan was feeling very out of his league at the moment.

“What provoked it?”

“I told him I wasn’t going to punish him.”

She was quiet for a few moments. “I suspect that you challenged what he has always known to be true. Remember that he’s struggling to find familiarity here, Evan. He needs a new foundation, he’s very lost. Maybourne was cruel, yes, but John likely had structure and rules he understood and internalized. You took away something he probably expected to have now that he has a new over.”

Evan nodded, rubbing his eyes. “Yeah, that fits with the reaction.” He told her what had happened and how he had responded, what he had said to John.

“I think you did the right thing. You took something away, but you gave him something to replace it.”

“He expects to be commanded for every little thing, Kate. How can I keep that up?”

“You and this place are new. He’ll grow used to you, he won’t always need constant reinforcement Evan. We don’t know what the conditions were like for John under Maybourne. He’ll adapt to the way you do things, but it will take time. You’re trying to undo years of abuse, Evan.”

Evan sighed. “I’m going to beat the living shit out of Maybourne if I ever cross paths with him.”

“Get in line, the entire psych and medical departments of the SGC are ahead of you. Keep being positive with him Evan. He might try misbehaving in the next few days to test you. You’ll need to respond appropriately. Set a specific punishment and stick to it.”

“He’s not a child or a puppy, Doc!” Evan hissed.

“No, he’s a severely damaged under trying to find his boundaries. He likely won’t be consciously aware that he’s doing it. We knew there would be issues Evan.”

He banged his head against the wall behind him. “Yeah. But the theory is a lot different than having him here in front of me. Did you see his back, Kate?” Evan took a shaky breath as he remembered the layers and layers of scars.

“I read the reports.”

“How did this go on so long without someone catching on to it?”

“I would really not rather discuss cycles of abuse over the radio Evan. I’ll forward you some articles, and we can sit down and talk in my office. Or your office.  I need to go."

"Okay.  Thanks." He clicked off the radio and sat for a very long time before he was calm enough to go back to the bedroom. John was tossing and turning in his sleep and occasionally said a few words Evan couldn’t make out. Picking up the blanket from the floor, Evan sat on the bed beside John and carefully untangled the sheets from around him.

The sun had gone down and the room was growing darker. He thought the lights up to a low level. John was on his stomach and he could see the scars on his back. Evan hadn’t realized it earlier, but there were more on the backs of his legs. Reaching out, he hooked a finger in the waistband of John’s boxers and tugged down a little, enough to see that he was scarred there as well.

John began to whimper in his sleep, babbling a stream of refusals and denials, throwing his hands out as if to ward someone away.  Evan hoped he hadn't provoked it.

“Shhh,” Evan soothed, rubbing circles on John’s back. “It’s okay. You’re safe, John. Shh.” He kept mumbling nonsense words and rubbing his back and stroking his head until John quieted and stopped struggling in his sleep.

Evan stretched out beside him, resting his face on his arm as he watched his new partner sleep. He knew he wouldn’t be getting much rest himself, his mind was too full of disturbing thoughts.

~*~  


“I heard you got hitched up,” Sumner drawled as Lorne entered the conference room for the morning staff meeting. The knowing look and grin on his face set Evan’s teeth on edge. He might have to work with the man, but he didn’t have to like him.

 

Evan nodded a greeting to Doctor Weir and slid into a chair as far away from his CO as possible. “I have taken on an under, yes,” he replied as he wondered how much Sumner knew.

“Man or woman?”

Apparently, he didn’t know too much, based on the question. “His name is John.”

Sumner nodded and looked away as McKay and Zelenka came in. Within moments, the conversation about Evan’s new status was forgotten and they were on to the business of the meeting. It was a little difficult concentrating, Evan’s mind kept drifting to thoughts about his new partner and what was going on with him now. John had been asleep when Evan had left for the staff meeting, he wondered what he would find when he checked in later.

What he found when he finally made it back to his quarters at a little before eleven hundred was John still abed. His new under was awake, blinking up at him as Evan walked in. “Really? I need to order you out of bed too?” The meeting had been aggravating and Evan was already at the end of his patience. “Come on, get up, go to the bathroom and get dressed.” 

He couldn’t leave John here, he’d have to take him to work. While John dressed, Evan paced out on the balcony, rubbing at his forehead, trying to brush off the lingering annoyance from the meeting. McKay and Sumner had gotten into another argument and the room had erupted into a shouting match, again. It had taken almost an hour to get back on track.

They walked to the mess hall and Evan handed John a tray and nudged him to the buffet line. “Take what you want,” he said quietly, for John’s ears only. “Standing order, eat what you want, when you’re hungry.”

He took coffee and a muffin and led John to a table by the door. John daintily picked at the scrambled eggs and near-bacon on his plate. He glanced up at Evan, an odd look crossed his face and then he put his fork down suddenly and crossed his arms, staring past Evan. “What?” Evan asked, but John wouldn’t look at him. Was this some kind of a test? Already? Heightmeyer had said to expect something like this, but already? Evan did not need this, not after the morning he’d just had.

Evan set down his coffee cup very deliberately and stared at John. “Finish your breakfast.”

There was no response, John continued to stare past him. He was pushing a button all right, in public, no less. “I said finish your breakfast,” Evan repeated in a warning tone. John continued to ignore him. Crap. Evan didn’t want a scene, and some of the marines around the mess hall were starting to notice he had company this morning.

He stood quickly and picked up John’s tray, placing his coffee cup and unfinished muffin onto it. “Come on. Now.” He started away, but John continued to sit at the table, his arms crossed over his chest, staring straight ahead. Returning to the table, Evan hissed in an undertone, “If I get to three, I will take you over my knee right here and now with everyone watching. One... two...”

With a nervous glance at the group of marines, John stood and followed before he finished saying ‘two.’ Relieved, Evan led the way back to his quarters. He set the tray on the table and turned to look at John. “I expect to be obeyed, without resorting to threats. “Go stand in the corner, forehead touching the wall; ten minutes for disobedience.” He pointed to the wall. It was a child’s punishment, but he wasn’t sure what else would be effective, he didn’t know John well enough yet, and there was all the luggage from his time with Maybourne to consider.

After blinking at him for a moment, John turned and went to where Evan was pointing and stood in the corner, his forehead pressed to the wall as ordered.

Evan sat and picked up his coffee and muffin, staring at John’s back as he washed down the dry muffin with the coffee, not really tasting anything. He pulled over his datapad and opened up his schedule, checking to see what could be shifted and changed for the day. He had an appointment scheduled with Zelenka. After this morning’s meeting, he really didn’t think it would be productive. He tapped his radio. “Hiya Doc, can we reschedule that meeting from 1400 today to Thursday? Cool, thanks. Nah, nothing else, tI’ll talk to you later.”

Glancing at John, still standing perfectly still, he checked his watch. “Time. Come here.”

John turned slowly and walked across the room to stand next to Evan. When Evan raised a hand casually, John flinched just before Evan stroked his shoulder and patted his arm. “Finish your breakfast.”

His under sat and pulled the tray over, scooping up his chilled eggs and bacon and eating quickly. Evan leaned forward on his elbows. Something was bothering him about John’s reaction a few moments before. “You thought I was going to hit you, just then?” John shrugged, then nodded quickly when Evan continued to stare at him. “I want words, John, talk to me when I ask you a question.”

“Yes, sir.”

He let the sir go for the moment since he was getting an answer. “Why? Your punishment was finished.”

John shrugged again. “I thought you’d still be angry. You were angry, when you came back this morning.”

“Not at you, I was annoyd at someone else. I’m sorry if I was short with you.” Evan gulped down some more of his coffee as John finished his juice.

“You confuse me,” John said suddenly, looking down at his lap.

It was the first thing John had said to him that wasn’t a direct response to something Evan had said to him. Hoping it was a sign of progress, Evan asked, “How so?”

“You just do. Would you have really punished me in front of the marines?”

This was another damned test, whether John was doing it purposely or not. “I would. I don’t make idle threats.”

“So you’d kill me, if you said you’d kill me?”

“I’d never say that,” Evan replied instantly, “Because I’d never do that.”

John still wasn’t looking at him as he toyed with the fork on his tray. “Master always said it.”

Evan added a kick to the groin to the list of things he was going to do to Maybourne if he got the opportunity.

“I need to go to work John.” Evan had already figured out that he had to give his under choices, or John would stop and do nothing, caught in indecision. “You could stay here and rest, or read. Or you could come to my office and read or play computer games while I work. Which do you want to do?”

~*~

Choices, again. John pressed the heel of his hand to his eye as it began to twitch. He didn’t want to stay here alone. He wanted to be where mast... where Evan was. “I want to go with you.”

Evan clapped his hands and smiled. “Good. Come on then.”

They went to an office that had glass walls on two sides, looking out at the operations area of the Gate Room. When they went into the office, Evan pointed out a sofa by the wall and two chairs in front of the desk. He sat on one of the chairs.

Humming to himself, Evan opened a drawer in his desk and began digging through it. John had noticed that he did that a lot, his new over hummed, sometimes a tune, sometimes not. He pulled a datapad out of his desk drawer and held it out to John.

“I don’t know how to work these,” John said, turning it over in his hands. Evan circled the desk and tapped a finger on a button. John pressed it and waited as the screen began to flash.

A menu came up and Evan pointed to an icon. “The city’s intraweb library can be accessed here. Just touch the screen.” Within a few minutes, John was scrolling through the books available on the system. He was so engrossed in what he was doing that he hadn’t noticed Evan move away to the other side of the desk. He picked a book that he had started to read a while ago, before Maybourne, and never finished.

He read for a while as his over worked quietly at his computer across the desk from John. It began to grow noisy in the rooms adjoining Lorne’s office, an argument broke out and people were shouting and waving their arms. Evan ignored it, but John couldn’t concentrate on what he was reading.  He kept rereading the same paragraph.

“You okay? That’s normal stuff, you can ignore it,” Evan said as the argument continued.

He tried, but then it spilled into Lorne’s office. The two loudest men barged right in and tried to get Lorne in on the argument. Not wanting to be in the middle of it, or be in the way, John quietly stood and moved around behind Evan’s desk, standing against the wall. He kept his eyes down, focused on the datapad in his hands as the argument raged. Someone else came in, a woman joined in on the yelling, trying to get the others to calm down. The loudest one suddenly went quiet, John looked up and saw the man storm out with the woman trailing after him.

“Evan...” a man with an accent said, gesturing towards John, who quickly looked down again, not makign eye contact.  It wasn’t any of his business. He shouldn’t be listening.

“John, this is Radek, he’s a friend.”

“Hello, John,” Radek said.

Unused to being directly addressed by anyone that wasn’t his over, John looked over at Evan in a panic. Usually only a medical professional would talk to him and expect a reply without his over's permission.  “You can talk to Radek.”

“Hey,” John replied quietly, looking up at the man. He had a Czech flag on his uniform sleeve, which explained the accent.

“Well, I will go and see if I can mitigate the destruction in the lab. It was nice to meet you, John.”

“Bye,” John said as Radek jogged out of the office.

Evan came back around his desk and threw himself into his chair. “Some days, I wish we didn’t have scientists, ya know? And Sumner just won’t let me shoot them.”

He didn’t know, he had been a pilot back before Maybourne and had not dealt with scientists, but he just nodded. He'd never had a command, a registered under would never be qualified to be a leader.  As Evan went back to work, John slid down the wall, pulled his knees up to his chest and resumed reading from the datapad. The rest of the afternoon passed without incident. They ate in the mess hall again and then went back to their quarters.

When Evan came out of the shower, he asked John if he played chess.  Happily, John had nodded and they spent the rest of the evening playing until it was time to turn in. 

~*~

 

The training schedules were a mess, requiring a good deal of Evan’s concentration to sort out. He had been in the midst of it the day before when the nonsense from the morning staff meeting had spilled over into the middle of his day in the form of an irate Doctor McKay and frustrated Radek. He was glad when Weir turned up and distracted Rodney.

He’d been worried when Radek had drawn his attention to John after the argument, but his new under had responded to Radek and seemed okay. The rest of the day had gone smoothly, much to Evan’s relief.

John was sitting quietly in the chair in front of Evan’s desk, reading as Evan worked. Making a mental note to talk to Heightmeyer about finding stuff for John to do to pass the time, Evan went back to sorting out the training schedules.

There was a tussle outside the office door and Sergeant Wils appeared, dragging a pair of privates in by the shirtsleeves. The accusations started to fly and it got loud very quickly, sending John fleeing to safety behind Evan. After Evan let out a sharp whistle and barked a few orders, dismissing them all, John slumped against the wall in relief. He slid down the wall to sit on the floor, as he had the day before. This time, he moved a bit closer to Evan’s chair.

“You okay?” Evan asked and John nodded, although Evan could see by his eyes that the conflict had upset him. His under went back to his book so Evan decided not to push the issue. A few minutes later, Evan sensed movement beside him and then felt the heat from John’s body as John scooted over to lean against his knee. He was trembling slightly. Crap. He glanced down to see that John was still reading from the datapad, he had his head bent and thumbed to the next page.

Deciding not to draw attention to John’s apparent upset, Evan slid his hand over and stroked John’s head lightly. Gradually, he stopped trembling and Evan relaxed enough to go back to his scheduling mess. He withdrew his hand, though he would occasionally reach down and touch John’s head now and then when John leaned into him, seeking comfort. He finished with his scheduling and was ready to move on to the offworld field reports.

Something about the situation was bugging Lorne. He twisted slightly in his chair and reached down to grasp John’s chin lightly, pulling his face up. “You aren’t a puppy. You’re cute and all that, but you aren’t a puppy. Do you really need to be right here?”

“Please?” John asked, nodding.

“Give me a good reason,” Evan wanted John to work through his issues, the more he articulated, maybe the more it would help.

John chewed on his lip. “I feel comfortable here. It’s not so open.” He looked over the edge of the desk at the glass walls. “It’s open out there.”

Okay, yeah, Evan could understand that, he worked in a fishbowl. “Are you comfortable on the floor like that?”

His under nodded. “Yeah. You feel safe.”

How could he deny the guy a safe place, with all the other crap he was dealing with? “Okay. If you want to stay down there, then suit yourself.”

“I could...”  John bit his lip nervously as he slid his hand up Evan’s thigh. Evan caught his hand and gave it a squeeze and gently pushed it down and away.  “No. Not here. Not on duty. That’s private and for playtime.” He turned fully in his chair and faced John, leaning on his elbows as John gave him a confused look. “Playtime, John. Sex is for play, not for punishment or anything else. For fun, okay?”

“You confuse me.”

“So you’ve said. I’m sorry. You’ll get used to me.” Evan held John’s chin and smiled at him, then stroked his face before he let him go and turned back to his work. John leaned against his leg again and gave a contented sigh.

Later, John tugged on his pants leg and Evan glanced down. “Could I read about the city, instead of fiction?”

Evan held his hand out for the datapad and scanned through the database to find the unclassified reports that all the scientists and military in the city had access to. “Exploration reports and most of the away mission reports are in that file. There’s some interesting stuff in there about the puddlejumpers, Radek and Lieutenant Markham wrote up some of the early reports and tests when we first got here.” He handed the pad back to John and John grinned at him. As expected, when Evan peeked to check, John had gone straight to the report on puddlejumpers.

There was a rapping at the door frame about two hours later and John stiffened against him. Evan dropped a hand to his head and scratched his scalp as he looked up to see Kate Heightmeyer standing there. “Hi Doc.”

“Did you leave John alone?” she demanded, coming into his office.

Evan tilted his head in John’s direction. “Nope.”

She walked to the side of the desk and leaned over to look down at John. “Hello, John. Wouldn’t you be more comfortable on the sofa?”

“I’m good.”

“He’s good,” Evan echoed as Kate straightened up and gave him a questioning look.

She tilted her head in confusion and then sat on the edge of the chair John had abandoned earlier. “I was hoping to talk to John.” Evan again tilted his head in John’s direction, which made the doctor frown. “In my office.”

“John, do you want to go with Doctor Heightmeyer?”

“No. I’m good here.”

“He’s good here.”

“You aren’t helping, Major.”

“If my under is comfortable and feels safe, it is my responsibility to ensure that continues. You’re welcome to talk to him here.” Evan crossed his arms and stared at her, hoping she didn’t fight him on it. Aside from sitting on the floor pressed against him like a pet, John was more animated and vocal today than he had been the previous day, he was comfortable and that’s how Evan wanted him.

Kate sighed heavily. Then she stood and kicked off her heels and circled the desk, sinking down to sit cross-legged a short distance from John. Letting his hand drift down to touch on John’s head and then his shoulder, Evan asked him, “Do you want me to stay?”

John reached up and quickly clasped his hand before letting go. “Yes. Please.” Evan took the datapad from him and set it on the desk.

“I’d like to do a few image tests, if that’s all right, John?” When John nodded, she pulled out a datapad and queued up her test and handed it over to John. “That’s pretty self explanatory, just do whatever you can,” she ignored Evan and smiled at John.

Going back to his own work, Evan tried to ignore what was going on beside him on the floor. Elizabeth Weir walked past the office and cocked her head oddly at the sight of Kate Heightmeyer sitting on his floor. From her vantage point, she couldn’t see John. Evan pushed back from the desk. “Excuse me, I have to go for a minute or two. I’ll be right outside if you need me.” John watched him leave but didn’t seem panicked.

He went outside and drew Elizabeth by the elbow until they were out of hearing range of his office. “I know this looks odd...”

“To say the least, Evan.” They had been on a first name basis for quite some time. When her under had died and she’d needed someone to talk to, he'd filled the need and they had fallen into an odd friendship.

“I have a new under, he came on the Daedalus. There are a few issues to work through, Kate is helping with that.”

Elizabeth nodded. “I see. Kate did come to me about an under that needed some special handling a few days ago. I didn’t feel up to it myself. It’s too soon for me. I’m glad she went to you. How is it working out?”

“Hard to tell. Tricky, touchy. I’m constantly questioning if I’m doing the right thing.”

She reached over and patted his arm. “You have good instincts, Evan. Trust them. I came by to ask if you wanted to come to a movie night, but if your hands are full...”

“Actually, I think that would be good. What time?”

“2000. Kate is looking your way, you might want to get back in there.”

Kate was actually frustrated. “John doesn’t want to do the tests.” Evan smirked at her expression, she looked like a little kid down there on the floor.

“John?”

“They’re stupid.”

“Maybe to you, but they help Kate.”

“No. No more. I don’t want to talk to her anymore.” John had slid back away from Kate and practically threw the datapad at her. Kate looked at Evan helplessly.

Crap. Was this John pushing again, testing the boundaries, or was it something more serious? How should he handle this? He couldn’t just cuff John upside the head and order him to talk to the shrink. He sighed. Maybe he could talk John around this mood. “You’re being rude and childish, John.”

~*~

He was frustrated. Kate made him feel like a little kid. Her questions made his stomach hurt, and she’d waited until Evan was out of the room to start asking them. He wanted Evan to come back and sit close again. It was stupid, that he felt safe with Evan, he hardly knew him, but he did, Evan was comfortable. Confusing, but comfortable.

Evan was being so calm, how could he be so calm? In the past, when he’d been rude, he’d been punished immediately. He had been slapped, kicked, punched or beaten. He’d been beaten several times when Maybourne had not liked his answers or his tone of voice. Maybe John was such a horrible under he didn’t deserve punishment? The question came out of nowhere. He couldn’t stop thinking about it and he soon began to believe it. He was exactly what Maybourne had said he was, useless and stupid and weak. He didn’t even deserve the effort of Evan’s attention to correct him because he was too useless to make it worthwhile.

Angry, he shoved the datapad aside as Kate tried to give it to him again. He didn’t really mind Kate very much, but at that moment, he wanted to be away from her, and away from the big glass walls with everyone looking, the strangers everywhere. He wanted to be somewhere dark and safe and alone.

He looked up at Evan, who had his hands on his hips as he looked down at John. Could he convince Evan that he was worth his time? How? He didn’t know what to do. Kate just wanted to talk and play games on the datapad, Evan was the one he needed to prove things to. John glared at Kate until she stood up and pulled Evan aside, whispering to him as they both kept looking at him. He was in trouble again, he knew it.

His over rubbed a hand across his face and then said sharply, “John, I’m going to give you to the count of three to apologize to Kate, or I will take you home and you will be punished.”

He wanted to go home. Home was safe, away from the strangers on the other side of the glass. Crossing his arms over his chest, he looked away to the far wall, refusing to speak as Evan counted off to three. He wasn’t afraid of punishment, he was used to it, it couldn’t hurt him anymore, it was a fair trade for getting out of here.

“Right, have it your way. C’mon, or I’ll drag your pants down and do it here,” Evan called from the doorway.

Climbing to his feet, John gave Kate a wide berth as he followed his over out into the corridor. His bravado fled once they were out of the office and he moved to press against Evan’s side. Evan didn’t say anything the whole way to their quarters, he marched along silently, his lips pressed tightly together. He didn’t look John’s way either.

When they got inside, Evan stared at him for a long time, until John squirmed from foot to foot. “You did that deliberately, to get out of talking to Kate. It worked today, but it won’t the next time.” Evan said, but there was no anger in his voice. “She’ll meet you here for appointments from now on. And you will talk to her, whether you want to or not. She is here to help you, John.”

John gave a brief nod, he knew that, in his head. But she’d made him angry today.

“You disobeyed me again. Fifteen minutes in the corner, and a spanking. Go.” Evan waved at the corner and John went, pressing his forehead to the cool wall. A spanking? What was he, five? He hadn’t really thought Lorne was serious about the earlier threat. Sure, like a spanking was going to be a big deal. John snorted.

When his fifteen minutes were up, he turned to see Evan sitting on the chair from the desk. “Come here.” John walked to his side. “Drop your pants.”

Blushing, John undid his belt and unzipped his jeans, He slid the denim and the cotton boxers down. Evan gave him a glance and then patted his thigh. “Down.”

Really? Again, was he five? Maybe this was one of Lorne’s things? Maybourne had things he liked to do to John. He sighed and went to his knees and then bent over Lorne’s lap. A spanking? Maybe he really wasn’t worthy of a real punishment.

Evan wrapped one arm over John’s waist to hold him in place. “I really expect to be obeyed, John.” He brought his palm down, hard, against his bare skin. Damn, it stung! “If I say I’m going to do something, I do it, you need to believe that.” Another wallop, in the same spot as the first, with more force behind it. John shifted forward this time. “Please don’t push me in public again.” Another hit, same spot, and there was heat on his ass now. John let out a small grunt. A fourth hit and a fifth and suddenly a spanking was not quite as ridiculous as it had seemed earlier. “I don’t like being embarrassed, and I get the sense that you don’t either.” Another hit and John hissed at the sting and tried to shift forward and away, but Evan’s arm held him tight so that he couldn’t move too far. “But trust me, I have no problem sitting down on the Gate Room stairs and doing this if you push me to it.” The eighth smack hurt, it seriously hurt. Worse than that, he was embarrassed that it hurt. He felt tears gathering at the corner of his eyes as Evan hit him again.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he whispered after another stinging hit landed. “Please stop.” As soon as he said ‘stop’ Evan pushed at him until he slid to his knees on the floor. He looked up to see Evan watching him, with no sign of anger or rage on his face, as he expected to see. “I’m sorry,” John whispered.

“Okay. I know you are. Come here.” Evan opened his arms and John hesitated for a moment and then went to him, pressing against him as Evan rubbed his back. “I know you are.” John didn’t realize he was making noises until Evan started to make shushing sounds as he stroked his hair and rubbed his back.

“Sorry,” John whispered, closed his eyes and sagged into him.

Evan’s lips brushed against his forehead. “What a mess,” he whispered. “Right now, I think I could kill the people that did this to you.” And John knew he didn’t mean the spanking, he might be messed up, but he understood that much. Evan held him for quite a while, until John stopped shaking and his ass stopped throbbing.

He pushed away from Evan and looked up at him sheepishly. “I made you leave work.”

“Nothing that won’t keep.” Evan waved a hand dismissively. “Why don’t we see about the barber? We missed your appointment, but he’ll probably take you anyway.” John nodded and stood, Evan held his arm to keep him steady as he pulled up his pants. 

~*~

While John was getting his hair cut, Evan commandeered a computer and shifted his workload around. He called Markham and asked him to cover his training class with the new arrivals so that he could avoid his office for the rest of the day.

“I’m afraid there isn’t too much I can do with it,” Frank the barber said as he shook out the cloth that had been tied around John’s neck. “Boy’s got a ton of cowlicks. Best to just go with it.”

John looked ten years younger without the heavy veil of dark hair hanging down in his face. He was running a hand through the short spikes on his head, smiling slightly. He caught Evan’s eye in the mirror. “I look like me again.”

“Glad to hear it,” Evan laughed. “I have one more thing to do before I can knock off for the day, come on.” He couldn’t help but notice that John wasn’t slouching and his chin was higher, his walk more confident as they left the barber. Chalk one up for a good haircut.

He had to go down to the supply depot and sign off on some stuff that had arrived on the Daedelus. He watched John out of the corner of his eye as he walked through the cases of ammo, running a hand over the labels. He handed John the datapad and said, “I’ll call off the numbers, you mark them with the stylus.” Working together, they quickly had the requisition checked over.

After that, they went to the mess hall to have a meal. Evan gave John a considering look when they got to the door. “You gonna give me a problem?”

“No, sir.”

John was smiling when he said it, so Evan let the 'sir' pass.  “Good.”

As they sat picking at their meatloaf and mashed-not-potatoes, Evan said casually, “ We’ve been invited to a movie tonight, you up to it? Maybe seven or eight people, nothing formal, just a video on one of the overheads.”

“Do you want to go?”

“I usually do, this is the group of friends I hang out with in my off time.”

John swallowed and nodded slowly. “Okay.”

“We’ll leave if you’re uncomfortable, you just let me know.”

“Okay,” John agreed more readily with a nod. 

~*~

After the spanking, John had expected Evan to be angry, or ignore him. Instead, he was acting as if nothing had happened. It was the same as the day before, when he’d been sent to the corner. Once it was done, it seemed to be done and over with, with no residual consequences. Again, Evan was different than any of his previous overs.

He didn’t know what had come over him when Evan had pushed him off his knees. He’d never fallen apart like that after a beating from Maybourne. It wasn’t as if Evan had really hurt him either, his ass stung a little but that was all. And the hugging. John didn’t think he liked to be hugged or held, but it had felt okay. It had been a lot like he remembered from when he had been a kid. It was just a hug, Evan hadn’t demanded anything beyond that.

That was confusing him, his new over had barely touched him at all. He had turned down John’s offers of sex twice already.

“Do I disgust you?” he blurted as the door of the transporter closed behind them.

“What? No! What would make you think that?” John continued to stare at the floor, embarrassed by his outburst. “John?” Evan prompted.

“We’ve been together two nights and you haven’t touched me.”

Evan sighed and leaned against the wall. “I’m giving you time to settle in, that’s all. I can wait, John. You’ve got a lot on your plate already.”

Surprised at the answer, John looked up and stared at Evan. He had expected to be taken that first night. When Heightmeyer had explained about finding someone in Atlantis that agreed to take him on as an under, he thought the sex was the reason. It had been Maybourne’s reason, and before him it had been the reason of every other over he had been involved with.

The transporter door opened and John suddenly didn’t want to get out when Evan did. “I... can I just go back to your quarters?”

Turning back, Evan gave a shrug. “Not up to it?”

“I thought I was, but... strangers.” Strangers in close company, watching him. He shuddered and Evan reached out and patted his shoulder.

“No big deal. We can sit on the bed and watch something on the laptop. Do you like Godzilla?” Lorne pressed a button on the wall. He didn’t seem upset by John changing his mind literally at the last minute like he just did.

“Mothra?”

“I think I’ve got that one. I also have a bag of Twizzlers stashed. We’ll have our own movie night, and maybe catch the next one with the gang.”

He really wasn’t bothered, John realized as he followed Evan through the door and watched him set up the laptop. Without waiting to be told, he stripped down to boxers and t-shirt as Evan did. That seemed to please his over; Evan smiled when he saw John taking off his jeans.

Climbing up onto the bed, he gingerly settled down beside Lorne as the movie started. Slowly, he relaxed against the pillows, chewing on Twizzler nuggets as Evan offered him the bag. The movie reminded him of rainy days with his friends as a kid, happier times, before he’d gotten involved with Todd and screwed up his life. John made it through one whole movie and part of a second before he dozed off, waking briefly when Evan nudged at him to get under the covers.

The End


End file.
